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Showing posts with label Laughter the best Medicine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laughter the best Medicine. Show all posts

Sunday, August 19, 2007

How to write an Essay?

Do you know how to write a good interesting essay in bilingual? Here is an example that you can learn.

Tip and trick:

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Example:

English Essay: If A black goat meets a white goat.
(英文作文试题为“黑羊与白羊”)

Please complete the essay below which starting with such words: “One day the black goat meet the white goat on a bridge”
(请如提示完成全文.提示如下:
“One day the black goat meet the white goat on a bridge”(一天一只黑羊与一只白羊在桥上相遇))

The Tricky Answer:
(有一名考生的回答如下:)

One day the black goat meet the white goat on a bridge. Then the black goat asked the white goat.

"Can you speak Chinese?"
(黑羊问白羊:“你能说中文吗?”)

The white goat answer "Why not!"
(白羊说当然可以了)

And then, all the following conversation is spoken in Chinese.
(下面的作文内容,匀由黑羊和白羊的中文对白构成。)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A very nice tip to have, isn't it?

Ok, Students, the lesson ends early today. Have a nice day!

Friday, July 20, 2007

[Forward] Bully using ATM Card

ENJOY!


星期天,我去农行取点儿钱花,当我来到柜员机边上的时候,看到很多人在排队,然后我就去里面的窗口去取钱,因为那边一个人也没有.我走到窗口对一个正在聊天的服务员说:“小姐给我取五百块钱。”她看也不看我一眼说:这里不受理ATM卡,到外面去.

我说:外面排很长的队,就麻烦你一下吧.

她说:不行就是不行.

我说:你们什么时候规定ATM卡不能在窗口取钱呀!

她瞅了我一眼,继续和另外一个小姐在说笑.一口海宁话,我一句也听不懂.看得出她们再笑话我.

Ok, deng deng deng deng ~~ now commercialing "How to bully people using ATM card Scene 1 Part 1!"


The story continues...

我情急之下对那个小姐说:你给我消户好了.

这下她没有办法了.我递给了她我的卡.她让我输入密码,我照办了.两万多块一下子全取出来了.她脸上一点儿笑容也没有.我倒是乐了,因为我看到了我攒了半年多才攒到的两万多块钱.

我 从那些钱里面拿了五百,然后拿一千对那个小姐说请给我开个户.她没有办法只好照办.开好了,我数了五百对那个小姐说:把这五百块钱给我存到新帐户上 面.她照办了,我又数了五百.她没有办法只好照办了.就这样我一次五百,五百的存.当我存到五千的时候她终于开口了.脸上没有了先前的狰狞.

微笑着对我说,余下的钱你一下子存好吗?

我苦笑着说:我怕我数错了,只想一次五百的存,这是我的自由.

她脸红了,一句话也没有说.只好照办.

我知道我做的有点儿过份了,但是我是很理智的对她在先呀,她没有理由那样对我,我是一个打工仔.看上去很寒酸,但是我有取存的自由,她没有理由看不起我...

p/s: the world is not always fair. But we can make it fairer. Our action will affect others without our notice.

pp/s: Sorry! 1000 Sorry and Apologize. I can't online inside my room and i have to use other resource to online, such as my internship company and university library. Continue to pray for me so that i can enjoy my trip to Italy and i can get back my internet connection as soon as possible.

ppp/s: No INTERNET is so P.O.K.A.I

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

[传载] 美女与野兽的故事

话说:


从前,在很远很远的地方,有一个小王子。

____________________________________


小王子14岁的时候,门外来了个乞丐A,乞丐A说:行行好,给我一点爱情吧!

小王子嫌他脏,就跑掉了。小王子的妈妈(不知道是不是后妈)一看,就把小王子拎起来乒乓揍一顿,严肃地说:“你将来是一国之君,怎么能嫌弃你的子民脏?”

____________________________________


小王子15岁的时候,门外又来了个乞丐B,乞丐B说:行行好,实在没有爱情的话给两个零用钱吧!

小王子想了想,就给了他一个金币。小王子的妈妈一看,又把小王子拎起来乒乓揍一顿,严肃地说:“你将来是一国之君,怎么能随便相信别人给别人钱?”

____________________________________


到了小王子16岁的时候,门外又来了个乞丐C。乞丐C还没开口,小王子就把他拎起来乒乓揍一顿。

不想这乞丐C恰好是一个微服私访体察民情的仙女,仙女开始还一边挣扎一边申辩“内在美最重要”,但这点申辩声哪里敌得过揍人的乒乓声。

于是,这个仙女就挨打了。

挨打的仙女,当即判断小王子是一个没有爱心的坏孩子,决定给予惩罚。她把小王子变成了一只野兽,并说:“20岁以前若有美女爱上你,你就能恢复人身,否则,嘿嘿。”

____________________________________


变成了野兽的小王子17岁的时候,门外来了个美女A。野兽对美女A诉说了他不幸的遭遇,希望美女A能施舍给他一点爱情。

美女A对小王子说:哈哈,你真搞笑。就跑掉了。

____________________________________


变成了野兽的小王子18岁的时候,门外又来了个美女B。野兽又对美女B诉说了他不幸的遭遇,希望美女B实在没爱情的话施舍给他两个零花钱也好。

美女B对小王子说:哈哈,你真搞笑,又跑掉了。

____________________________________


变成了野兽的王子19岁的时候,门外又来了个美女C。野兽看着美女C,恶狠狠地说:哈哈,你真搞笑,就跑了。

美女C倒追了他整整三天三夜,最后揪着他的脖子,问:到底我什么地方这么搞笑?

____________________________________


十一个月以后,美女C和野兽结婚了,咒语解除了 。。。









































































故事完啦,不然?





The End
滥竽充数

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

When Terminator meet Jesus ==?...

What happen when Terminator meet Jesus? This clip adds a sense of humour to the life of Jesus Christ.

Warning:
I do not make fun of my Christian religion.
It is a sensitive issue.
Please don't watch this Youtube if you feel uneasy.


Thursday, July 5, 2007

Secret revealed! 妙语连珠,只在厕所!

Something interesting that i found inside Germany Toilet/WC:

Think 1st:



Guess the meaning of the words above.

Tip: This is a notice that you will see at toilet.

Don't scroll down unless you really give up!

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

0

A N S W E R :



Translation:

Stand nearer, because it he is shorter than you think.

Please flash flush it after usage. Thank you.


_______________________________________


p/s: Inside German language, every noun has gender. "Er" is a masculine noun in German language. "Er" has a gender of male. Toilet/WC is a non-living object and what message does the author trying to convey by using a masculine noun?

_______________________________________


Ha Ha Ha!!!

The
TRUTH is out THERE!

Monday, July 2, 2007

男人之婚姻前后

Chinese: Click 男生之婚姻前后

English: Read below


_____________________________



Before the marriage, read from top to bottom


He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top !!!!


_____________________________

缘起:我不管了!杉生有幸的杉宝宝post了一个华文版的男生之婚姻前后,我来一个英文版!我拚了!

什么?没有啦,我要来博版位.一点都不生气喔!不要打我.

erm...可以打我啦,不要把我打到半死,因为还可以下次再打的。打死我了,下次就不能再扁我了,就不好玩了,是吗?。。。哇咔咔!
_____________________________


Actually, i want to post this article when i am having my exam. I have kept this joke for around 1 month and it is my blog draft since that day. Nevertheless, i still need to thank 杉宝宝. If not, i don't know when i will post it.

Again, since someone already post it, i might as well as post it also.

It is harmless right?

_____________________________


p/s: Having exam this 2 weeks. Wish me good luck. ^^

Saturday, June 30, 2007

舔着吃。咬着吃。含着吃冰棒 猜谁结婚了!

年轻漂亮的数学女教师提问心不在焉的彼得。

女教师:“有三只鸟在电线上,你用汽枪打下其中一只,那电线上还有几只?”

彼得:“一只都不剩。”

女教师:“为什么?”

彼得:“因为另两只受到枪声惊吓飞走了。”

女教师:“从数学上来讲,应该还剩两只。不过我很喜欢你的思路。”

彼得:“老师,我有一个问题想请教您。有三位女人在公园里各买了一根冰棒,有一位舔着吃,一位咬着吃,还有一位含着吃,您认为哪一位是已经结婚的?”

女教师想了想,红着脸嗫嚅道:“我想应该是含着吃的那位。”























你猜呢?







































懂吗?




































还是往下看吧!
































彼得得意地说:“不对,是带着结婚戒指的那位。不过我很喜欢您的思路。”

爆笑 XD 哇咔咔!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Medieval Age: Dummy guide to Book

As the title says, Dummy guide to Book. Learn how the people who are "book illiterate" during Middle Age use a book! Enjoy!!



Credit to Youtube user "ZrednaZ" for the following detail:

A.k.a. Medieval Helpdesk. This video makes fun of moderns newbie computer users by illustrating - in a way fully understandable to them - how silly some of their questions are by creating a similar problem in the Middle Ages.

It's from a show called Øystein & Meg (Øystein & I) produced by the Norwegian Broadcasting television channel (NRK) in 2001. The spoken language is Norwegian. It's written by Knut Nærum and performed by Øystein Bache and Rune Gokstad.
Actors list:
  • Øystein Backe (helper)
  • Rune Gokstad (desperate monk)

_____________________________________________________

Spoiler: Ending is very funny. How to read a book by using book manual...
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